Top Things for 12/10/12

I’m back! Apparently I didn’t mess anything up too bad last week, so I have been allowed to stay. Bully for you all.

Books

Books are for nerds.

Comics

There’s nothing I or anyone I know both reads and feels really strongly about (sorry Buffy Season 9, you’ve been lame), but Spider-Man is about to end, so maybe pick up the next-to-last issue before it does? 

Movies

The Hobbit mofos! What the hell else are you gonna see?!? It’s the flippin’ HOBBIT. Go at midnight and then go again with your friends that are too lame to go at midnight! Dress up! I most definitely will.

Music

This weak is BLEAK you guys, and I’m sorry that that rhymed. So unless you’re a teenage boy in 2002 who listens to Green Day, I’m sorry but you’re basically S.O.L.

Television

Did you people watch Homeland on Sunday? Because you should have. Because what? Because what are they going to do this week? Because it’s the season finale and it’s going to be quite epic. There’s also a “Winter Wonderland” party on Vampire Diaries and Walter going on an LSD trip on Fringe. So, you know, something for everyone.

 

So basically this week would pretty much suck except for that whole HOBBIT THING HAPPENING AT MIDNIGHT ON THURSDAY. SO GET EXCITED.

Hawkguy

Call me irresponsible. Call me unreliable. Throw in undependable too. Wait. Is that even a word? I don’t care, care me whatever you want – just don’t call me early in the morning!

…

…

I apologize for that. And for missing yesterday! Normally when I say I’m going to do something, I do it! Except… law school internships…

Wow, off to a great start. Anyway! Here we go!

Hawkeye! Also known as: The Lamest Avenger. I mean seriously, remember that scene in The Avengers? Hulk is flexing and roaring, Captain America is catching his shield, Thor is swinging his hammer, and Iron Man is like recharging his repulsor rays (Lord have mercy I’m more of a nerd than I thought for knowing that)? Even Tits McGee over there at least has a GUN. And then there’s Hawkeye, loading his bow. I mean really. He’s lame.

But then Hawkeye #1 fell into my lap. Because it was thrown at me with the imperative: “Read this.” And guys. I loved it. Like really loved it.

Basically it’s the story of what Hawkeye does when he isn’t Avenging. This includes: getting a dog, fighting tracksuited Russian mobsters, thwarting the plans of evil circus villains, and making time with sexy ladies.

This is one of the funniest comic books I’ve ever read. Scratch that; it is the funniest comic book I’ve ever read. I love how simply it’s drawn; it really offsets the madcap hijinks beautifully. I love that it includes Kate Bishop from Young Avengers (nerd alert 2). And it really made me realize something: James Bond doesn’t have super powers either. He’s just a badass. The key is not pitting James Bond against Norse gods, aliens with lasers, mutants, or cosmic planet-eaters. You pit him against mobsters. Psychos with big-ass guns. You send him into a casino to intimidate kingpins. You send him to retrieve the plans no matter what.

So while Hawkeye might be the lamest Avenger, he is also the most awesome non-Avenger.

 

Wait what?

Top Things for 12/03/12

Hello all! I’m back after a seriously extended absence. Between quitting law school, getting super sick (a couple of times) and trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, I’ve been a bit preoccupied. But what with Ian starting this whole “Post a day for thirty days” nonsense, I figured he was a bit… overcommitted, and offered to take over some of his other posts! So here I am with some recommendations for what’s out this week.

Books

Did you know that there’s a giant volcano under Yellowstone, whose caldera is slowly rising? Did you know it could erupt at any moment? Did you know that the last time a super volcano of this size erupted, it did so for a thousand years and killed 95% of ALL LIFE ON EARTH??? Well now you do. Good luck sleeping.

Anyway, Supervolcano: All Fall Down by Harry Turtledove is the story of what happens in the aftermath of such an eruption. And while in real life I seriously doubt anyone would survive long enough to have an aftermath, let alone planning for the rebuilding of the nation, it could still be a decent read…

Comic Books

So, don’t tell my boyfriend, but I’m actually not a huge comic book fan (we met in the comics section of a Barnes & Noble and I pretended I knew what I was talking about). I mean yes, I’ve read the classics – Watchmen, V for Vendetta, The Killing Joke, The Dark Knight Returns. Ian has made me read some others – Y: The Last Man, All-Star Superman, and I occasionally browse his collection, but I really don’t care about the soap operatics of the Avengers or X-Men.

That being said, I have been really enjoying a new series: All-New X-Men, which tells the story of the original five X-Men coming from the past into the present to confront their current incarnations. The dialogue is snappy, the premise is intriguing, and the art is beautiful. Plus it’s shipping super fast which keeps the momentum up. Issue #3 is out Wednesday.

Movies

None of the movies opening this week look very appealing to me. So I’m going to use the time and money I would spend seeing a movie on making a costume for the midnight premiere of The Hobbit next week, because I am one of those people.

Music

NEW KE$HA ALBUM BITCHES!!!

Television

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that this Sunday marks the penultimate episode of Homeland‘s second season, which should set up all the pieces for a suitably epic finale. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking more forward to The Vampire Diaries on Thursday. Ian started watching several weeks ago, and promptly got us hooked on it. We just finished the awesome third season last night, so hopefully I’ll be fully caught up by Thursday’s episode, which I believe includes the return of Lexi – in flashback form – and SALVATORES IN UNIFORM! PLUS some Nola goodness to remind me of home. Apparently last week’s episode ended on a… sour note… based on the twitter reactions I read, so hopefully this next episode will redeem it somewhat.

 

And that’s all I’ve got for you today. I should be checking in on Wednesday for a comics-themed post, so I’ll need to find something to say about that ASAP. Deuces.