Can I Join An Anti-Social Network?

If there was one movie of 2010 I heard the most about, one movie I heard I would absolutely love, one movie I heard would define our generation, it was The Social Network. For whatever reason, I resisted seeing it in theaters. I’m sure there were good reasons, but mainly I think it was stubbornness. That, and my secret idealizing of Amish culture and desire to join them (you think I’m kidding but I’m not).

It comes down to the fact that I kind of hate Facebook. I think it’s made us feel more important than we are, that every stray thought running through our heads needs to be shared. I think it’s made us redefine how we feel validated. Rather than finding worth in the depth of our friendships, we now desire breadth. We want hundreds if not thousands of “friends,” despite not really knowing them or interacting with them. And when I see people on Facebook finding out that they literally spend a MONTH’s worth of time on that website, it makes me sick. And ultimately, I hate Facebook because I don’t have the strength of will to delete it, or just get on occasionally.

So anyway for all twelve of you who haven’t seen it, The Social Network is the story of Mark Zuckerberg – creator of Facebook and pioneer of redefining privacy. He’s a regular student at Harvard, who is an asshole, as his girlfriend tells him when she breaks up with him. He wants to be in a prestigious fraternity, but isn’t, so he hacks the Greek networks, steals the members’ pictures, and builds a website to rank their hotness. Because objectifying women is fun! This gets the attention of some rich frat guys who want him to make a proto-Facebook for Harvard only. Instead he builds his own, using his friend Eduardo (who is as popular as Mark wants to be) to finance him. Along the way he meets the creator of Napster, who is flashy and charismatic and convinces him to go bigger. He parties in California using Wardo’s money, who gets pissed. Mark and Napster edge Wardo out. Wardo and the popular frat guys sue. They win big money. The end.

So what did I think?

I

Hated

It

Zuckerberg is just an asshole. To everyone. But he wears this pathetic little sad face the WHOLE movie, like I’m supposed to feel sorry for him. Like “Oh, the poor guy was seduced by money and women and look what he became!” Um no. The first scene of the movie establishes that he’s an epic douche. And yet I still felt like the movie wanted me to like him. And that just isn’t fun. I can watch a movie or read a book where the protagonist is a douche. Like House. I can even watch a movie or read a book where the protagonist is a bad guy. But it needs to acknowledge that fact and allow me to acknowledge it too. And I really didn’t get that from TSN. It’s just hard to watch a movie where you literally like every character more than the main character.

I mean, Wardo was awesome. He was a good friend and a solid business man. True, Facebook might not have gotten as big as fast with him at the helm, but it probably would be a lot classier and way less obnoxious. And you can see that even though he’s suing Mark, it tears him up to do so, that he regrets the steps that brought him to this place.

The Winklevoss twins are awesome. They don’t immediately sue Zuckerberg, because they are gentlemen of Harvard, and believe that it all can be settled civilly.

Rashida Jones is awesome, despite her weird flirting with Mark that I didn’t approve of.

The only other character that sucked as bad was Justin Timberlake, but at least I knew it was OK to hate him. And I did.

So my point in this, movie, is that you need to let me hate people when they’re douches. Don’t go trying to make me sympathize with him because of his dopey sad face. UGH.

Anyway, the music was absolutely amazing. Like, fantastic. The cinematography was great, and overall it was a well-done movie. It just wasn’t any fun, at all.

So yeah. This movie was so ridiculously over-hyped. My brother stopped watching halfway through because it was so boring. I had to take a break for cake just to feel better.

And if this movie defines my generation, I’m jumping in front of a bus.

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